Haunted
by YamiJessi
Summary: A deathfic dealing with what might have been, if fate had taken away instead of spared the life of a single soul.


A/N: Short, sadly, but hopefully still long enough to get my point across, done in around 30 mins. Deathfic involving Pippin and how his demise effects his closest friend even after the pain of shock wears off year later. Not canon of course, unless you count the fact that Tolkien did in fact intend for Pippin to die in his first draft of RotK, so it's closer to bookverse than movieverse.

Title: Haunted  
Storyline: RotK  
Characters: Merry, mention of Pippin  
Paring: None  
Rating: PG  
Series: One Shot  
Archive: Let me know first, but most places are fine. 

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned them. 

In that moment he did not want to say farewell, he refused to say goodbye. It was too much of a burden on his still young soul to utter such final words to his dear playmate. He was still lost in times of silly games and trickery among the softly swaying trees to let his gaze fall upon the shadows of this world. How often he found joy in those ideas, even among the fear of life now, it took but a single found reason to become overcome with the part of himself that was still longing for simpler days. He knew them true, those broken murmurs of darkness that crept under the very air of a world somehow outside his own, but it did not mean he had to let them seep into his soul. Mistakes forgotten, weary paths all but faded, for only a flicker of sunlight cast here and there. Bright embers that were sparked from a shinning soul, still very much a child caught up in the matters of a world of stern adult resolve. It was a difficult thing to deal with, when so much of one's life had at first been simple, now so harsh and pained. 

And when at last their parting was at hand it seemed unreal, for no darkness could be so truly cruel as to pull away the bonds of two friends so dear that so often it seemed they were merely a single being given separate forms. But, as always he put forth a strong face for the younger, once more fighting his own worry and pushing it aside. He simply pulled up a brave resolve himself, more for his forlorn playmate than anything. And in the blink of an eye the person he had spent so many hours lost in childhood revelry had gone away to follow the paths of a world moving too fast for the both of them. It was as if someone had stolen the breath in his lungs, the air seemed so heavy and damp, or the candle to light his own frightening road. Yet, he had offered comforting words, hopeful tones, but he had not said goodbye. 

And when words failed him, news of the most painful sort reaching ears that never wanted to hear such sorrowed whispers. The world that had seemed cruel before now felt truly heartless, and so very empty. And he dwelled upon that last parting, of all the hopeful words he could have offered, perhaps they would have changed fate, perhaps they would have given sudden strength in final moments. It seemed as though everyone else could change the world with sheer determination alone, so why was he denied such power? It was a horrible burden on his already aching soul.

So much he could have done, from the very beginning, so many chances to turn away and hide back away in those all but forgotten meadows of home, so far away. But pressing forward had been the only path which felt right then, perhaps not now though. And life lay staring him face to face in cold terms, paled flesh made motionless, sparkling eyes now empty and dull far too soon. Childhood passing away in a moment, with the passing of one who had been his shimmering reminder of youthful joy itself. Time passed quickly after that moment, and home somehow did not seem so flawless and perfect, the leaves turning in fall and spring melting together until years lost count in his mind. He no longer looked to childish happiness as he once did, as he surely would have even after the years, if only life had granted him the steady flicker of the friend who had been a light in his life. He had grown stilled in life, holding his weary soul together by the resolve that he would not fail those who depended on him now, even though he felt as he had failed his truest friend so long ago. Standing alone among the fields no longer such a perfect green with a breeze somehow chilled to his skin, silent with no words to say now he can only think of what could have been said to change the tides of fate back then. And of all the words he never said, goodbye is the one that haunts him the most. 


End file.
